Sunday, January 31, 2010

What I've learned about uncertainty

I often hesitate. I often procrastinate. Actually, the truth is: I have often hesitated, and I have often procrastinated. Only I have done it so many times that it seems more honest to talk about it as a part of both my past and my future. But I don't wanna talk about my future. I know nothing of it. And I certainly don't want to apologize for it on beforehand.

It's scary for me to be on unknown ground. It's scary for me to break habits. And yet I know it's where I want to be: on unknown ground. When I think about it, I am always on unknown ground. I never know what's ahead, not really. It only seems familiar when I take the same route as last time. The boring thing is, those routes get old.

Heaven is never where I left it. It's wherever I choose to find it, wherever I choose to see it, whenever I say "yes" to what is. When I insist on waiting for circumstances to change before I'm happy, I am claiming responsibility for things that are not mine at all.

The only thing that is truly mine, is ... THIS!


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